October 2011
1 post
September 2011
1 post
July 2010
3 posts
June 2010
2 posts
1 tag
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
– Samuel Beckett, Worstword Ho, via this business
May 2010
5 posts
tv programming made easy →
SENIOR: Fuck it. Law and Order. Special Victims Unit. There’s your Friday.
JUNIOR: Which timeslot?
SENIOR: Timeslot nothing. Friday.
JUNIOR: All day?
SENIOR: All. Day.
JUNIOR: Jesus.
“ass backwards”: 117,000 Google hits
“assbackwards”: 84,100
“back asswards”: 62,100
“backasswards”: 517,000
“bass ackwards”: 101,000
“bassackwards”: 186,000
Unification Church will put Washington Times up... →
lol
April 2010
4 posts
Oh My God Guys I Can't Believe Senior Year Is... →
I want to squeeze your thighs
I want to kiss your eyelids
And corrupt your...
– of Montreal, Gallery Piece
March 2010
3 posts
AskMeFi: Did a squirrel deliberately pee on me? →
Prague’s Franz Kafka International Named World’s Most Alienating Airport: “They keep calling me ‘S.’”
November 2009
2 posts
Mags: OH I FORGOT TO TELL YOU
Mags: there is a bathroom at CMU that has FIVE out of FIVE automatic things
Mags: the fifth being AUTOMATIC TOILET PAPER
Evan: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Evan: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Mags: DID I JUST BLOW YOUR MIND?????
Evan: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Evan: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Writing for me always requires trickery. Tricking myself into sitting down,...
– John Hodgman
August 2008
1 post
The ancient Greeks got themselves oiled up to wrestle for a good reason: to...
– Joel Stein
July 2008
1 post
I wish many guns. Floating around me. Controlled by murder thoughts.
– Transmetropolitan
June 2008
2 posts
It’s a terrible world, and modern parents are trying to cocoon their kids as...
– Alfred Kahn, chairman of 4kids Entertainment, in The New York Times
Man the food-gatherer reappears incongruously as an information-gatherer. In...
– Marshall McLuhan, Understanding Media
May 2008
4 posts
People tend to stick to their own size group because it’s easier on the...
– Miranda July, “The Shared Patio”
And we who were born in one millennium and will die in the next are slightly...
– Dan Bern, “Thanksgiving Day Parade”
April 2008
5 posts
I wish that I could turn back time/Cause now the guilt is all mine/Can’t...
– “Komm, susser Tod”, End of Evangelion OST
A machine the size of a marmot, rather than of a moose, can be installed in the...
– Nick Paumgarten on machineroomless elevators
If the intermittent wiping feature is working in the K Car, then virtual real...
– Chris Bachelder, Lessons in Virtual Tour Photography
I hate you, Edgar Dijkstra!
– why the lucky stiff
…we all spend moments and years counting ourselves wise in the spending of...
– William T. Vollman, Europe Central
March 2008
4 posts
All you need for a good movie are tornadoes and scientists. Actually,...
– Randall Munroe
…it’s like you’ve been on the brink of starvation at every...
– mblase on love at e2
Anything you say can and will be used against you…in a court of Robocop.
– Jack Black in Be Kind, Rewind
My wang was all I really had that I could call my own.
– Phillip Roth, Portnoy’s Complaint
November 2007
1 post
The English may not always be the best writers in the world, but they are...
– Raymond Chandler, “The Simple Art of Murder”
April 2007
6 posts
Survival Tip #2
Coca-Cola and a Cinnabon is the most nourishing breakfast available.
Bad luck
It seems like whenever I get interested in a band, I have just missed their DC area tour stop.
Survival Tip #1
If you are wandering the desert and you anticipate having to drink your own urine, start early. It will contain less urea while you are still hydrated.
We pray for one last landing
On the globe that gave us birth
Let us rest our...
– Rhysling
At present I do not feel that I have seen more than the fringe of poverty. Still...
– George Orwell, Down and Out in Paris and London
In January 2007, carousel operator John Cameron Spiggle was awarded the...
– Schenley Park Possibly the best thing ever written in Wikipedia.
March 2007
7 posts
Caution:
Please stay off my landing port
I’m not the tourist killing...
– A sign in Arrested Development’s Wee Britain
Under-promise, over-deliver.
Suppose that this particular person had whispered to his next-door neighbor,...
– Justice Stephen Breyer
APIs are the singularity.
– Merlin Mann on MBW